Describe your favorite movie as boringly as possible

New friends help an in-over-his-head petty criminal reconnect with his father.

Star Wars

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Nope.

how the hell is it not Star Wars omg

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How is it Star Wars? Luke’s a petty criminal?

Guardians of the galaxy 2 is a wild guess

He gets in a couple fights, but becomes friends with the people he fought and they help him.

I was going to snap this as Memento with Guy Pearce, but his first real breakout role was as Exley in LA Confidential (or The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert if you’re into drag).

So I got nothing. Still puzzling.

Not this either.

meh ok I guess the whole rest is just so spot on

It may be not reasonable depending on your age. You probably have to be my age (early 30s) to have a shot.

Wasn’t this Ace Ventura?

Okay I might have missed this

So like a kids movie from the 90s?

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An inescapable space library holds the key to saving humanity

A man gets recruited to a secret agency because he runs fast

yep

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Mission Impossible

Men in black

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Nope, secret agencies like fast running males