I’m glad I’m not the only one who stressed out hard as fuck when considering whether to leave for another offer. Shit sucks. But it was my first go round so hopefully next time is easier
Spoiler: It’s not.
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I’m sure it’s easy for some people who are able to remove emotion and psychology from the situation. I just think way too much about how something is going to look, whether one tactic is right/wrong, etc.
I think being a football fan has helped me with this. Watching teams year in and year out cut bait on players the moment they aren’t worth it no matter how important they had been to the franchise is pretty instructive for how most of corporate America regards employees and instills the right sense of cynicism you should have with regard to company loyalty.
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Thanks. 10 years ago it would’ve been a snap call. But if the market keeps chugging, I could have fewer working years left than # of years already worked. So with an eye on that prize of retirement, the idea of maybe taking a hefty whack to income in prime earning years weighs more heavily.
As crazy as it feels to say it, part of me hopes Europe job either rejects me or comes in with a weak offer that is easier to turn down. Because if they come strong, shit’s gonna get messy and stressful the next couple weeks and I’m going to be burning some bridges.
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A friend told me a story about getting some advice that completely changed her mindset, and then subsequently mine too.
She was applying for some photography residency that she was emotionally super invested in. She asked her friend. “What am I going to do if I dont get this”.
“Everything else”.
The point being that theres so many opportunities out there, and so many cool things to do, and you kind of need to embrace it. Every decision closes so many doors, so if you dont get one thing, you should be excited about all the other things.
As I type it out it seems less deep than it was for me… ah well.
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I had a job recently that was ending (contract not renewed) and I got super invested in one position that would allow me to stay in the house I just bought last year. Very small industry so it was only due to luck that there was a single opening within commuting distance. I had a lot of those same thoughts.
Didn’t get the job, moving 100 miles away for the next closest one now, so that could be worse but it’s still requiring a move. The backup job is in a lot of ways better than the first one but I’m still not 100% happy with the way it worked out. Moral of the story is yes, having lots of options is exciting, but sometimes there’s an option that is so clearly superior it’s fair to get overly invested into it.
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Whoops turns out wasn’t a bonus, was an increase to my base salary.
Which now makes me wonder if I was underpaid but who knows.
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https://twitter.com/techemails/status/1418248256937775105?s=21
Would this email get you fired at you current job?
- Yes
- No
0
voters
Heard from entry-level candidate during job interview: “in case you’re not familiar with opportunity cost…”
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It’s highly context dependent. Looking into this guy’s background with Gates and his position at Microsoft, it was completely appropriate and acceptable.
I personally don’t have the clout to talk like that but probably would just be eyerolled w/ a “who the fuck does this guy think he is” response rather than fired.
I had a similar conversation at my old job and didn’t get fired.
I did quit a year later, though.
I was just telling a story to MrsWookie about an ass kicker like this at our company. There’s a huge difference between, “I would buy our competitor’s product,” and “Right now, our competitor is kicking our ass, and here’s why,” in a company email. Ass kickers who kick the right asses that need to be kicked when things aren’t working or when you’re losing to your competitor are really valuable at companies, and I have a ton of respect for the ass kickers at mine. Yes, granted, it would be better if we just did it right the first time without the ass kicker lowering the boom to motivate getting it right the second time, but I don’t think anyone is going to get it right every time, and you need ass kickers there to kick asses when you don’t, because otherwise it’s easy to pretend you got it right. At my company, we promoted a really good ass kicker from a managerial position to a VP-level position because of how good he was at kicking asses, but then, thanks to ongoing reorganization in the face of growth, he got sidelined to a non-ass-kicking role. Thankfully, they repurposed him back into a new role that’s designated ass kicker, and better yet, he’s rehired an A+ subordinate ass kicker who’d left the company after kicking a ton of asses and getting a ton of shit to work that hadn’t been, and then presumably running out of asses to kick. Well, we need some asses kicked again. I’m in favor of them kicking those asses.
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Please tell me you trolled the shit out of him before you sent him on his way.
Since it came up
And here we go….
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They accepted full responsibility and blame for my career stalling over the last 2 years. It was a bunch of selling me on staying and politely putting down the company I would go to. Obvious stuff. They asked until Friday to put together a step by step plan on development and an offer. I told them that’s fine but I am not that keen on burning this bridge and not convinced on staying. I didn’t see a point in 100% turning them down without seeing what they propose. Seemed like a -ev move. In summary….
¯_(ツ)_/¯
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So when they heard you were leaving that didn’t say “we’d like to meet with you in a few days to convince you to stay,” they said “we’d like to meet with you in a few days to see if you’d give us more days to convince you to stay”?
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Hmmm. I didn’t think of it like that but yup… pretty spot on.
After sleeping on it I think I’m out no matter what. The more I thought about the conversation the more certain lines hit me. They brought up how I want to work from home like 3 times which wasn’t even the top 5 reasons why I’m leaving.
Based on your posts I’d have bet it was at least top 5. But also not #1.